Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

A handy charger for every Switch Joy-Con you own is just $20 - The Verge

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand how hurricane paths work

NBA Finals Game 7 traffic: No one allowed to drive into Bricktown after game, says PD - News 9

I can read

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Michael Kelly Named President of the Naval Academy Athletic Association and Director of Athletics at the Naval Academy - Naval Academy Athletics - Naval Academy Athletics

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Have you ever forcibly sucked someone’s dick?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I actually pay taxes

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

Nationals’ cornerstones come up big in series-opening win against Padres - The Washington Post

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Astronomers discover a tiny star with a giant planet that should not exist - Earth.com

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have a reading level above third grade

FAA will restrict flights at Newark airport through end of year - NJ.com

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Browns' quarterback competition is right where it's supposed to be | The Huddle - Cleveland Browns

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

What drove the tech right’s — and Elon Musk’s — big, failed bet on Trump - vox.com

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Pokémon GO Events (June 23-29 2025): Global GO Fest, Regi Raids and Bottle Caps! - Pokémon GO Hub

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Most people aren’t following this important dietary advice. Are you? - The Washington Post

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Part toy, part fashion, the arrival of the viral Labubu was a long time in the making - AP News

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Has Trump fooled Canadian PM Carney by pretending to negotiate and suddenly doubling steel tariffs to 50%?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I can count

A Salute to Brian Wilson: Darian Sahanaja on Growing Up on Brian, Then Basking in His Musical Inner Circle for a Quarter-Century - Variety

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t buy bullshit

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Risk Of Dengue Fever Is Just Another Reason Cruises Suck - Jalopnik

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I see through liars

I have complete contempt for fakery

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup